Opportunity knocks (my little secret revealed)..........

and a door that has appeared to be locked can suddenly open!

Like many, I have dabbled in writing for myself but never gone as far as getting anything published. For those of you that have read my other blog on 'blogger' or have seen my page on 'myspace' - you will have also seen that I occasionally write book reviews - and I have had the honor of having had 3 authors ask me to write reviews for their books.

One of said authors - Andrew Towning - I have known since May last year. He is a published author of 2 books (thriller/spy genre) and is presently putting the finishing touches to his third for publication.
Whilst talking he mentioned towards the end of last year that he wanted to leave that genre for a while and try something different - with a co-author - someone who was capable of writing but who maybe had not had the opportunity to get published - in the crime/thriller genre. Let's be fair - it is the fastest selling genre around the western world - we all want to know what makes criminals tick - hail the hero and boo the baddie!

I'm getting to my little secret - really!!!!!

So - not thinking for one second he was talking about me - we got to some minor pussy-footing around the issue and different ideas - I was chuffed to be asked!

Sending ideas back and forth and he said they were good and would work! So now Andrew and I are co-authoring a book!!!

Chuffed to gobsmacked in one hit!!!!

Now it is the serious stage of character profiles, settings, getting basics on paper etc and it is FUN!!!!!
I am really doing this - and have to kick myself now and again to remind myself it is real!!

I have a dear friend - Dan - a very talented writer himself - who is keeping me grounded - making me think about things when I go too high into the clouds - whom I know will not flatter me and will let me know if something is not quite right. His friendship is invaluable to me as his company on this journey.

My brain is fuzzy, my nerves are all over the place - in wanting to do this but also in working with someone already published 3 times and feeling somewhat inadequate - but so grateful to Andrew for this amazing opportunity and his belief that I can do this too.

It is a door that remains locked to many for various reasons and I have an opportunity to, if not charge through it, at least tip-toe through it and take a good peek!

So - wish me luck - I will need it!!!

Improperly prepared balls can poison you......

when they come from a blowfish!

In Japan, 7 people were rushed to hospital suffering from various things including limb paralysis and breathing trouble.

Fugu (blowfish to you and me!) can only legally be prepared in Japan by chefs that hold a valid license for the said purpose!

It is 100 times more poisonous than potassium cyanide - yet is popular with thrill-seeking gourmets (death is a thrill now?!?!?!).

Still..... it takes all sorts huh?!?!?

Some days are just 'WTF' from the get-go.......

Well... after a busyish night - I thought I would catch up on the latest news to see what was going on in the world - and there is generally something that makes one say, 'WTF??' ...... and today was no exception.

Headline: GOAT DETAINED OVER ARMED ROBBERY

Yep - in Nigeria - where belief in witchcraft is very widespread still - to the extent of someone being able to turn themselves into a goat!

Now - they are not confirming this - but they do have the goat in custody!!!!
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE50M4XT20090124

In one of their own online newspapers (link below) - the Nigerian Government made an appeal for this story to be disregarded - but that it is under investigation.
So if this is a hoax - which would be disregarded as a kind of April Fool prank here - why is it under investigation?

Does this mean the goat is still in custody one wonders?

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art20090127150073

Uranium ore buyers review....

This is legal to sell - as shown by the link here for amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000796XXM/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller

Most of the customer reviews for this are pretty funny - but the first one which I have posted below is simply hilarious!!!!

Ok for cleaning teeth, not so great for killing ants.., December 3, 2007

By
Nero Goldstein "Bemused by a Muse" (The Great Nation of Texas) - See all my reviews

Picked this up for use in one of my kid's 'diversity' projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.
Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!
However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.
Big mistake!
Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!
Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.
And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..
I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.

Bush - GTFO!

I loved this pic for Bush! Very nicely done!

Now if only we could get one for Brown!!!

I ate little girls.............

How to win a competition hands down.

In response to a radio competition 'what is the weirdest thing you have eaten?' - a female caller said 'little girls.'

She of course did not know this at the time - she found out many years later when the butcher her mother went to at the time was arrested for the murders of girls and mincing them up and selling them as meat!

How the heck would you feel knowing you had been eating children for a few years? Sick or 'well - didn't know what it was but it was yummy!!!'

http://yeahthatsodd.com/2009/01/19/i-ate-little-girls-for-two-years-it-was-delicious/

Atheist bus ads banned in Italy........

Well to be fair - what the heck did they expect?!?!?!?

One of the funniest statements in this story has to be:
"In no other part of Europe is the Church's influence as strong on politics and citizens' lives as in Italy," he added. ('he' being Raffaele Carcano, national secretary of the Italian Union of Rationalist Atheists and Agnostics.)
Altogether now ....... 'well duhhhhhhhhh!!!!'

Okay so everyone is entitled to their point of view and the bus ads are not going to be to everyone's taste - especially for those of us that believe in God.
It would be nice to see what the outcome would be if Christian religions wanted to do the same thing? Would it be allowed? Would they dare not allow it after allowing these in England?

The one thing that puzzles me - if these Atheists do not believe in God or religion - they sure as hell spend a lot of time trying to look like a religion themselves and trying to convert others to their beliefs!

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Atheist-Bus-Ad-Campaign-Banned-in-Italy-By-Church/Article/200901315206332?f=rss

Pooh bear diagnosed with an eating disorder.........

Fans of Winnie the Pooh are said to be appalled that the return of Winnie the Pooh to the Hundred Acre Wood will include psychological analysis for the bear’s ‘chronic binge eating’. Other changes will see Eeyore diagnosed with depression and prescribed ‘Prozac’ before being re-housed in a council donkey sanctuary.

The updated Winnie the Pooh had not been expected to incorporate quite so many negative aspects of modern life, but the publishers said that contemporary readers would expect some sort of analysis and explanation for the dysfunctional behaviour of so many of the famous characters.
‘Pooh is undergoing treatment for an eating disorder related to feelings of low self esteem’ explained cognitive therapist Jim Rouse, ‘He feels that he is a bear of little brain so he compensates for his feelings of low self worth by binging on honey and condensed milk’.

Tigger has been prescribed Ritalin for his behavioral problems, which are believed to be ADHD related, and this has calmed down his ‘bouncing’ behavior. Beetle was destroyed by a council infestation officer who visited the wood to condemn Eeyore’s house as uninhabitable while Kanga has been forced into work by the government’s policy of getting single mums into the job market. Having completed a course in childcare, she now struggles to make ends meet in a low paid children’s nursery job while Roo spends most of the day in childcare, which eats up most of her earnings. Social workers are concerned that Roo is now becoming an overweight child because he doesn’t get to play outside as much as he did. DEFRA have a number of questions pending about pig welfare issues and the introduction of non indigenous Kangaroos into the 40.4685642 hectares woods.

Christopher Robin is currently in care due to his negligent parents allowing him to roam on his own in the woods. He had already been served with an ASBO for repeatedly polluting a local river with sticks, while Ofsted are said to be concerned at local education standards which has left most of the inhabitants of the area unable to spell words such as ‘Owl’.

The new book will follow Christopher’s attempts to escape from his social worker and return with his animal friends to the woods, which he sadly finds have been bought by developers, chopped down and turned into executive apartments.

http://newsbiscuit.com/article/pooh-bear-diagnosed-with-eating-disorder-438

(Take a look at http://www.newsbiscuit.com/ to inject some light relief and humor into your day!)

The Resurrectionist - James Bradley

I chose this book because of the subject matter - 'Resurrectionists' - i.e. grave robbers. It is one of those subjects that has fascinated me for some time and having read a little about it, I am always interested to see how it is portrayed in both fiction and non-fiction.

Told in first person narrative, this is the story of Gabriel Swift, an orphan in 1820's England, sent to work as an apprentice to one of the greatest anatomists of the time - he helps prepare bodies for dissection. At the time it was only legal to use prisoners whom had been executed for this purpose - hence 'Resurrectionists' filled the severe shortage of bodies which anatomists could use - digging up fresh corpses and selling them.

The story tells of Gabriel's personal demons from when his apprenticeship fails to him becoming an opium addicted Resurrectionist himself.

Over halfway through the story there is a location and time jump to New South Wales 1836 - which I did find rather unsettling and awkward.
By the time I had finished the book it felt as though the time jump had been an imposed added extra by an impatient editor.

Although the writing style is good - there was little development in the characters themselves with too many 'walk-on' characters. The main characters were thin rather than full-blooded so it was difficult to care one way or the other as to what was happening to them.
The story itself lacked pace somewhat and because of the 'thin' characters I could see a lot of people finding this book not very easy to get into and enjoy, and be turning over a few pages to find the next bit of 'gore' rather than wanting to turn page by page because they are enthralled by the story. I did not find it to be the 'brooding gothic horror' it was depicted as although there are certainly moments which will make the skin crawl slightly.

I DID however enjoy James Bradley's writing style immensely. His place and time description in the first part of the book are excellent and his use of prose and turn of phrase are very well displayed - so I shall be looking at one of his other novels to see if this was indeed a one-off slow read.

DUMA KEY - Stephen King

Stephen King - long known as the 'King of Horror' - especially in my early years - appeared to have lost the 'knack' - if you like - after the 1999 roadside accident which 'altered his consciousness'.

Having gone from joking about what his bedtime stories to his kids must have been like - to somewhat mourning the loss of one of the best horror writers of my time - it is fair to say that I began reading Duma Key with a fair amount of trepidation rather than anticipation.

So, we have characters who seem to acquire psychic powers after accidents and retreating to Duma Key for convalescence - in the case of the main character Edgar Fremantle.

Edgar lost an arm in an accident - wealthy - and needing time to convalesce he is 'drawn' to Duma Key and to a house there - 'Big Pink' - with it's whispering shells beneath. He starts to paint - sunsets at first - but when his missing arm starts to 'itch' and more - he finds his paintings take on a prescience that become reality - for example - causing the death of a child murderer by leaving his face blank in the painting.

He is befriended by Wireman - who has his own story - and cares for the owner of Duma Key and it's properties including the one Edgar is staying in.

The portrayal of the characters - e.g. Fremantle's recovery, his anger, his depression show that King can still certainly keep his characters credible and real in the most bizarre of situations.

King's ability to still be able to tell a gripping story is what keeps the reader turning the pages - the reader knowing that under the deceptive calm of the island and the whispering shells that there will indeed be something 'undead' revealed. It is in these moments of unease that the page turning speeds up.

Horror may not be his main focus or impetus - but the usage of sanity as the worst form of fear is displayed remarkably throughout this book.

A page turner, good live characters and some 'undead' with some good fear thrown in - not too bad at all!

Woman 90 - shoes grown into her feet......

What the hell is wrong with some people that they would treat a person worse than they would a dog - or any other animal??

This poor woman was found so emaciated and dirty that her shoes were embedded in her feet!

We would all like to think that in being cared for when we are older that care is indeed what we will receive including any medical attention required.

Her son - her sole provider - 'provider' being used rather loosely here - said he did not have a good relationship with his mother.
To be able to sit day after day for possibly years and watch someone deteriorate to such an extent before your own eyes - simply through lack of normal care takes some doing.
Don't ya just know he would have been collecting/claiming money on her behalf too!
He definitely belongs in the 'people you will see in hell' pages!

http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2009/01/05/woman-90-found-with-shoes-grown-into-her-feet/